Mentoring Magazine

The Act of Listening

8/4/2019

Photo by Mimi Thian on Unsplash

How often do you find yourself “zoning out” in conversation? Maybe you find yourself waiting to talk next?
In a situation where you need to have constant attention on what's being said, such as in a mentoring session, this can be problematic, which is why we recommend using a technique called Active Listening.

Active listening involves a structured approach to listening.

Build rapport by framing the conversation in terms of the mentee. Showing interest in the mentee's background or situation encourages them to discuss their experiences.
Show concern for the challenges facing the mentee. This may elicit further information about issues so that you get a broader view of the situation.
Avoid interrupting. Allow the mentee to finish their train of thought before speaking so that you get full context.
Use minimal encouragers. This is a technique that injects small sounds or body language (such as “yes”, “mm-hmm”, nodding) into the conversation to show that you're still listening and following what's being said. Minimal encouragers will keep your mentee talking and encourage them to flesh out their ideas.
Use non-verbal cues, such as mirroring body posture, leaning forward, nodding, and maintaining eye contact*.
Ask open-ended questions to get greater detail.
Ask specific questions to explore points that have been made.
Repeat the information back. This gives you a chance to confirm your understanding, and gives your mentee a chance to either agree, or to reframe what they've said to give greater clarity.
Summarise and paraphrase what has been said. This can clarify ideas and goals and make the way forward more apparent.
Wait before discussing your opinion. A mentoring session needs to focus on the mentee's situation and goals, so seek to address their needs before looking at your own.

* Note that some people may be uncomfortable with eye contact. This may include people who are neurodiverse or from non-Western cultures.
If your mentoring partner appears to be uncomfortable with eye contact, this should not be taken as an offence. Rather than trying to seek eye contact from someone who avoids it, looking at their shoulder or another part of their face can help relax communication.

Author

Kristine Sihto is Senior Editor and Communications Manager for CCM.

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Overwhelmed? Plan your priorities

25/3/2019

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Photo by Gabriel Matula on Unsplash

This week, I am busier than I have been at any other time in my life.

Over the next seven weeks, I have three conferences to attend and speak at, all on different subjects - I have completed slide decks for roughly zero of those. My husband and I have just founded a company, so there's paperwork to sort, proposals to write, meetings to attend. I have three smaller networking events this week. I have several art commissions to complete.

Have you ever had so many tasks on the go that you find yourself procrastinating? Too many competing priorities can lead to a state where you are unable to see the most effective path to your goals.

Create a plan

Effective prioritisation begins with a plan. Rather than being overwhelmed, follow these steps:

Write down all the tasks that are lined up in front of you. Don't forget to add in things like meetings and routine tasks that can't be set aside.
Note which of the tasks are "must complete" and which are "optional but not critical". If some items can be handed over to other team members, note that as well.
Lay those tasks out on a calendar - preferably at a high-level view where you can see several days or weeks ahead. Having a visual perspective can help you see how much space you have between deadlines, so that you can more effectively manage the work you're doing in the lead up to each.
It can help to colour code your "must complete", "optional", and "can hand over" tasks in the calendar at this stage.
At this point, you're able to see exactly what your high-view timeline looks like. Break down larger tasks into smaller goals, and give yourself time frames to complete each portion in.
Set out how each day is going to arranged, remembering to add in the routine parts of your day, as well as meal breaks.
Prioritise. Work should focus on your most immediate "must complete" deadline first. The sooner you have that out of the way, the less stressful the rest of your workload will feel.
One thing at a time. Multitasking leads to poor prioritisation. Don't try to switch between tasks - instead focus on the task in front of you right now.
If you find you're definitely over-committed, set aside the optional tasks for later, or seek out assistance for tasks that you're able to hand over.
Communicate. Let people know that you can't take on any new projects until you have your current workload under control. Now that you have a plan, you have a rough idea of when you're able to take on new work. Giving an explicit timeframe for when you'll be available can help make your situation clear for others.

Making this plan might take time, but once you have it, you won't need to waste time wondering what to do next.

Now I'm off to create a plan for my next seven weeks. Wish me luck!

Author

Kristine Sihto is Senior Editor and Communications Manager for CCM. This Friday (March 29), she will be presenting at BrisSEC19 in Brisbane. She hopes to see you all there!

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A moment on today’s events

15/3/2019

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Today was a terrible day.

Today in Christchurch, a lot of people went to pray and didn’t come home, all because someone decided they were praying for the wrong religion.

I’m in Australia, but it felt like I was hearing about someone opening fire on people in a neighbouring suburb. The footage I was exposed to by news reports was extremely upsetting.

Right now, I can do nothing for the victims. Due to a storm passing through Brisbane, I am sitting in the dark, literally powerless, writing this on my phone. But I can do something else.

The events that occurred today were traumatic. The nature of the footage that was released today is traumatic. And there are those of us in this community that will feel that trauma acutely. I want to support those people.

If you find yourself suffering mental distress due to the events of today (or in general), please speak to a doctor.

If your distress is great enough to make you feel like harming yourself or others, please seek immediate medical attention. The number for Emergency Services

in New Zealand is 111
In Australia is 000

Helplines in New Zealand (from the Ministry of Health website):

Need to talk? (1737 – free call or text)
The Depression Helpline (0800 111 757)
Healthline (0800 611 116)
Lifeline (0800 543 354)
Samaritans (0800 726 666)
Youthline (0800 376 633)
Alcohol Drug Helpline (0800 787 797)

Helplines in Australia:

beyondblue (1300 22 46 36)
Lifeline (13 11 14)

Author
Kristine Sihto. All opinions expressed in this post are mine and do not reflect the official view of either CCM or my employer.

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The Act of Listening

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